For examples of how to be gentlemanly, consider history and the modern world for current customs. Tradition has shown that a gentleman is an ideal of poise, professionalism, etiquette and etiquette. However, there was something more. This natural suavite is what ties his persona together.
Modern gentleman can be distinguished from his peers by learning not only traditional etiquette but also useful skills for 21st-century social situations.
The Image of a Gentleman
The mindset of a gentleman is focused on appearance and perception. Even in Victorian times, the proper gentleman was more concerned with projecting an image rather than reflecting true character. Being a gentleman doesn’t mean you have to be morally superior. While being a gentleman doesn’t make you a better person it does mean that you show respect for others.
Gentlemanliness is not only about how you present yourself, but also about the way you behave. One can avoid the temptation to be a boor by living by a code.
As with all human beings, a gentleman might experience anxiety, fear, and discomfort in certain situations. Many people may find certain social traditions awkward. A gentleman can learn to thrive in these situations by mastering his approach.
Gentlemen can fill a role and sometimes project a sense of sensibility that he isn’t feeling. A gentleman can overcome his limitations and leave a lasting impression by working in the room like an actor.
Find a Role Model
The golden age of cinema saw many leading men come and go, but they managed to capture the imaginations of audiences, as well as the hearts of women, by playing consistent, gentlemanly roles on the screen. Because they represented an admirable ideal, these men made a mark in popular culture. Women had role models to look up to, while men had role models to emulate.
To be a gentleman one must first identify the right traits and then look for them in others. These gentlemanly traits can be seen in role models.
Gentleman Etiquette and Chivalry
Even though the importance of gentlemanly etiquette is not as high today, it still holds true to its original purpose. However, this does not mean that etiquette is no longer relevant. Rather, etiquette evolved into an elegant language that still has power.
Informal behaviors are now a dominant feature of many social situations today and slowly creep into the professional and business worlds. But people still notice manners.
At a minimum, a gentleman should be aware of certain traditions. Open doors for ladies. Keep a firm handshake. Avoid wearing hats indoors.
Chivalry was a standard in the past. But today, a gentleman is impressive when he can remember such simple rules.
It is important to remember that a gentleman must act naturally when learning how to be a gentleman. If manners and etiquette are forced, they lose their purpose and appeal. Your conduct is void of meaning and value if you draw attention to your own chivalry.
Gentlemen are considerate of others and not focusing on themselves. He is noticed for his elegance, not because he makes a show. To mock the gentleman’s style is to do this is a disservice.
A gentleman is distinguished in conversation not by his words but by how he listens. Being a gentleman means being aware of your surroundings and paying attention. Make eye contact when speaking with women and men to convey interest in their stories or amusement at the way they act.
Gentlemen must be careful with their words and avoid sexism. He should be a social politician. He can speak on more difficult subjects than a politician, but he should remember that off-color comments can come back to haunt his.
A gentleman should not curse, interrupt, or mock others. Gentlemen should not speak louder that the rest of the room and should not remain silent. He should listen to the conversation and respond with his ears, not his own agenda.
How to dress like a gentleman
There are many precedents that can be used to help or hinder one’s own style when deciding how to dress as a gentleman. In true Victorian tradition, the classic gentleman is a man who wears a top hat and cloak. A gentleman’s formal dress can include black tie formal wear and the modern “suit-and- tie look” that is appropriate for weddings and funerals. It can also be worn casually.
A gentleman can now risk dressing too much for many occasions. A tuxedo at a barbeque can cause embarrassment just as shorts at a company event. Modern men can look great in jeans and a casual shirt, provided they are worn at the right time. Don’t forget that past fashions don’t always work for the present.
You are trying to be a gentleman and not an antiquarian. A gentleman is the best representative of his social environment and not an anachronism.
Discipline is key when choosing clothes or wardrobes for a particular occasion. No matter how formal the event, neatness is important. This means that shirts must be properly fitted and that clothing should look neat.
Don’t wear flashy clothes that make you feel insecure. Instead, dress for the occasion, and be traditional.
Understanding (More than) One’s Trade
There are many backgrounds that make up gentlemen. A gentleman is distinguished in modern society by his appropriate and classy behavior. He projects an image that is beyond his actual reality.
This is especially evident when discussing one’s career or trade.
No matter what a gentleman’s profession is, you can expect people to ask questions about it. Questions about education and occupation are often raised at social events and chance meetings. It is best for a man to avoid discussing his income and not ask about it.
A gentleman should know more than just his 9-to-5 life. One or two guests at every party will talk about nothing but their exciting and wonderful careers. Only a few real-world occupations are worthy of such concentrated conversation.
A man takes in material that enriches his character. You can find inspiration from almost any place. Reading a variety of subjects can improve one’s communication skills and expand their knowledge.
A well-read man is more comfortable with his job than someone who walks to work every day, uninquired about the outside world.
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More than the sum of his parts
To be a gentleman one must understand the glue that holds together the best of his fellow men. The gentleman is a shining example of character and integrity, no matter where he is at the moment, be it in a Monday morning business meeting, or at happy hour. The gentleman strives to be more than the sum and less of his parts.
Anybody can learn the language, the manners and the attire. These attributes are an art form for the successful man. He has stage presence and attracts positive attention while being respectful and dignified. You must practice to improve your natural charm.
This is how you put it in perspective
Many people may not realize that archaic etiquette, chivalry, self-confidence, and respect for others are not new ideas. We can also see how many people in modern society are far from the gentleman’s ideals. Modern society can benefit from this mindset of poise and manners in their relationships and careers, even though the gentleman is a dying breed. Learn to be gentle and shine brightly for others.